It Was Beauty Killed The Beast

Lately things have been dark inside. Deep inside. It’s the adult equivalent of a child who is sure there is a monster under the bed. Or a scary clown. I saw Poltergeist. These things can be real.

Whatever it is, I think you have it too, at least sometimes. Admit it. An overwhelming sense that life is cruel. Anxiety. Fear. Seasons don’t fear the reaper, but I do. And he looks like King Kong.

Big ol’ lonely Kong lived on Skull Island and battled all day long with the other jungle creatures for bragging rights over their domain. He was a toughie. He had no friends and certainly no girlfriend, which is why he glommed onto beautiful castaway Anne Darrow. He saw her, clad in a skimpy jungle outfit like Princess Leia in the gold bikini, tied to a sacrificial plank, screaming and panicking. Kong wanted to chomp her like a yummy, drippy meatball sub. And he dragged her deep into the bowels of that dark, uncharted territory.

I’m afraid of heights, spiders, never being fully loved, getting stabbed, all the normal things. But it’s more than that. I’m stressed out. I’m broke. I’m unsure of myself all the time. Vulnerable. I don’t know where I belong. I’m like that scared blonde chick, wide-eyed, with the back of my hand over my mouth, in the paw of a giant slobbery gorilla. Life can be pretty fucking vexing. And like me, Fay Wray didn’t know how to tame the wild beast. She only knew the fear inside. Maybe you relate to this ordeal? They remade this movie not once but twice, which tells me there might be a few people who do.

Things didn’t end up do bad for our heroine and the giant ape. When she saw him in the light of day he didn’t seem so scary. Apparently there’s a reason most horror movies take place at night. (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is an exception. Which actually makes it even more freakish.) King Kong was just misunderstood, like most of the things that worry and frighten us. He just wanted some love and tenderness.

They say people can cure their own cancer with positive thoughts and meditation. Think: L.A. weather is gorgeous during the summer. A full moon can be mesmerizing. Sometimes I see my dog actually laughing. There is beauty all around, even during a senseless war, real or imagined. There is a famous picture of a hippie who stuck a flower into the barrel of a National Guardsman’s rifle during a Viet Nam protest. My boyfriend gave me a red rose the other day. It was just what I needed. At least now there’s something pretty to look at in the devil’s playground.

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Anne Clendening ♥

Anne Clendening is an L.A. chick, born and raised. She is a writer of creative nonfiction and other sordid tales of life, love and other L.A. adventures.

3 thoughts on “It Was Beauty Killed The Beast”

  1. Wow.. I went through this in a BIG way just the other week… I’m not going to get to prolific, but I will say that sometimes I just need to remember that there is something bigger than the bad out there, and its my job to channel it.

    Thank you so much for yet more fun and good writing, that gives me good pause in the best of ways.

  2. I’m there right with you, and this is with anti-depressants & anti-anxiety meds. It was way worse before. I’ve probably always been this way but just didn’t know that was it.

    I just have to remember that I’m loved & one way or another it ALWAYS works out.

    You are very loved, not alone, and it ALWAYS works out, one way or another. Just wish it would feel more like it while I’m going through it.

    Something to be grateful for…. you could be living in HELL like me!

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