I meet a lot of people at work. People I’ll never see again. They’re nice enough, but here’s my least favorite thing: “Hi, how are you?” Sounds harmless, but it’s not.
“I’m fine thanks, how are you?” “Good, thanks.” It doesn’t really mean anything, does it? Next time I might shout out “I’M FANTASTIC!!” I’ve done it before. It really shocks ’em.
“I’m exhausted, and my back hurts.” No one wants to hear someone complain.
“I’m worried about my future.” That’s obvious. I’m a bartender.
“How the fuck do you think I am? I’m at work and you’re partying. Twat. Tip me.” Something tells me that’ll never fly.
“I’d rather be home with my dogs.” True story.
“I have a pretty serious illness that I don’t like to talk about. Wish me luck at my next appointment with the expensive fucking neurologist. You see, I have no health insurance.” No, they’ll just think I’m kidding.
“I’m happy and so grateful right now for my life and everyone in it. My life is the shit. I’m the luckiest chick I know.” People will think I’m drunk.
Oh well. Maybe I’ll just be a decent person and hold my tongue. Do they really want to know anyway?