I Owe The Gods Something Special.

love-hate

If I could tag the universe and everything good about it, I would. Something great happened today. I’ll just have to hashtag it up.

#gettingoutofmyownway
#idontsuck
#fuckyeahbitch

Two nights ago, my newest piece for elephant journal, Five Yoga Poses I Love, Five Poses I Don’t & One That Teeters on the Edge of Cruel was posted. They put it up on a Monday night at 11:00, which led me to the very unwise decision to stay up for hours and obsess on what was wrong with it. I won’t be shy about it, you guys. I hated it. I had my work cut out for me.

The one good thing: it’s all true. And the bad: I’ll let this screen shot of my email to the editors at elephant journal give you an idea…

Screen Shot 2014-06-18 at 5.53.06 PM

I wish it had the time somewhere; I can tell you it was about 12:45 that night. I’ll be honest, I couldn’t stop thinking about how stupid it was. Insecurity had settled in, not to mention anxiety on top of an inferiority complex.

I forced myself to go to sleep. When I woke up, I reached for the computer to see if it was still up, and it was. Fuck.

There’s a difference between “good” stupid and “bad” stupid. Example: Ja’mie (“I added the apostrophe in year eight”), Private School Girl is the god damn funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Good stupid. So good.

My husband watches “Trailer Park Boys.” It’ll turn your brain to mush, until you have a muddy looking puddle of gunk where people can put out their cigarettes. Bad stupid.

What ended up happening was my little article had a life of its own. I got in my car at 7:30 this morning to go to work at the studio and just as I sat down, I got an email from elephant. The Daily Cup of Wisdom was up, with the top six posts of the day. And… yup. I seriously couldn’t believe my eyes. Any insecurity evaporated in that moment. So happy! Even though I apparently don’t trust my own instincts…

So check it out, and you decide how stupid it is. I’ll be up all night working on the next one.

I figure I can either bury my head under the stack of wool blankets in the corner—probably in some kind of backbend—or I can rally.”

Click here to read “Five Yoga Poses I Love, Five Poses I Don’t & One That Teeters on the Edge of Cruel.”

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Anne Clendening ♥

Anne Clendening is an L.A. chick, born and raised. She is a writer of creative nonfiction and other sordid tales of life, love and other L.A. adventures.

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